Married and have a happy family is my purpose of life. Like a fairy tale, being a princess with a handsome prince in our little castle. But it suddenly disappear, when my husband sick at 2009. And at that year, we all knew that we have HIV in our family circle. And the dream that I build before, change into a day full of hospital and medicine that we have to through in it.
Three years after, a long road we can passed it by. Me and my daughter can survive well until now, even without husband that already passed away in 2009. The Anti retroviral therapy that we use every day has increase immunity in my body. Wish the virus sleep well in my body and not ruin my life again. I keep walking without giving up, to keep healthy and happy. Even I have HIV in me, it doesn’t make me give up, I keep working and life. Even there still many stigma and discrimination, I don’t care, I just keep moving.. keep walking, keep breathing..
80% people around know me as people living with HIV now. All people like parents, neighbor, friends and colleague. Sometimes people can see me in many media when I share about HIV, giving education to high school student and community. This is my new passion, to share this kind of information, share right information correctly, not just a myth that will bring wrong information, makes HIV more scary to people.
It’s not easy for me at the beginning, stand in front, speak loud and show to people that “Yes, I’m HIV.. than what?” I’m not trying to find sympathy or I’m not trying to make people afraid with me. I just want Indonesian wanna listen to me, that the message that I share its clearly important. About sexual reproductive health and right, that student never get in school. About drugs addiction that people always ignored the information. Many people think, all that kind of information isn’t important, that this information only for marginal people. And I said no! this whole information should deliver to all. So there’s no more people trap in wrong information, don’t know how to protect them self. Because for me it’s ok to talk about use full information, even with your parents or teacher.
And now, close to December, many people start talking about HIV AIDS, many people show that they care and take responsible of this issue. All this activity, campaign, talk show getting loud in my ears. Why Just in December? As people living with HIV, I’m confuse, why this big moment. I see many people suddenly Concerned with HIV, and also people who often take advantage of this event just to make a profit for their own.
For me this moment should hit us all. There is almost 250.000 Indonesian people infected by HIV and including woman and child. There is also 3.892 new infection on HIV until this June 2012 in Indonesia. This thing should make you shame, as a human and Indonesian. Why you talk loudly about HIV only in the world AIDS day, than you forget about it after that?
Let me ask a question. Why still taboo for parents to talk about sexual reproductive health and right in home? So they will find the information by them self. Probably they will get wrong information outside.. why student drop off from school just because they get raped, they are victim, why people think the student will give bad impact to others, they don’t even get the sexual information directly from school. And people still stigmatize people living with HIV, they refuse us.. but when December comes people will celebrate the AIDS world day moment. Confusing.
Lets holding on together, together we mirroring our self, talk to yourself.. what’s wrong? Who take responsible for this situation. What we should do to fix this? The answer is yourself. Come and see that many children and family become victims of people who don’t want to learn to understand that HIV AIDS isn’t about moral or behavior things. HIV is a Big Impact, and we should take this lead together.
I invite all of my friends and all who read my writing for care about this issue not only in big Moment like world AIDS day, not just in December. Let’s talk about this everyday if you tell me that you care about it. We have a lot of work to do, need lot of effort to make change or fix problem but together, I’m sure we can do it.
If I can reflect my self in this moment, moment that people celebrate as world AIDS day.. I want all people living with HIV get Comprehensive health access without stigma and discrimination, get a same chance to work and education. That women living with HIV have their own right, to married, have a child and well PMTCT access. At the end, being don’t know or stupid is not wrong, but how we start to talk with yourself, learn and find the right information, share it to others. We can start it!
Follow me @ayuma_morie, lets talk about HIV AIDS and things around.. without afraid or worry..
Picture from Google and www.whatifitwereyou.org